(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)

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What if those annoying emoticons on the internet came to life, smoked crack, and sodomized your face while beating your mother? Well that is exactly what happened here. Maybe you're into that kind of thing. Maybe you just really want to piss your buddy off for stealing your girlfriend and Nintendo. Maybe you feel guilty about chewing that gum you found under a subway seat. If any of those apply, get this table. Otherwise, send me paypal donations for taking this bullet for you.